CHATTER @ WECHAT

I can think of at least a 100 people whom I would love to chat with, ask questions, know their viewpoints and tell them my own. I am a people’s person and love to have long talks with cupfuls of tea or a few leisurely drinks. So yes sieving through that long list and short listing my top few to share the privilege of WECHAT was a tough assignment. To make things easier I decided to begin the rounds of chat with a divine intervention.

Ever since I was a kid I loved to chat with my friend Lord Krishna. Oh! Please do not get me wrong I am not the religious discourse types, but I like to talk to him about every day things- people, relationships, money, career and the like. One question I have often asked him in the recent years and would love to get an answer via WE CHAT is – why didn’t he enable Draupadi to be strong enough to save herself and instead chose to come himself to her rescue? I understand the importance of having worthy episodes in your biography if you are a God, and also the ethical rightness of responding to a devout cry for help. But wouldn’t it have been a sterling example for all Indian girls to be empowered themselves instead of letting your lousy husbands lose you in a bet, their relatives insult you and then a brother-like God come to your rescue. In the wake of the Delhi rape case I asked this question too often, has our mythology set the wrong precedents so much so that the woman is blamed for crimes against her, giving the lame excuse that she crossed the Laxman-rekha, and all kinds of restrictions are put on women in the name of their safety. We do not blink an eye when a husband treats a wife as his property and why the victims lose IZZAT while the criminals have human rights activists shouting themselves hoarse to treat these monsters with sympathy?

I definitely would ask my dear blue god about his concept of true love? Is the kind of love you and Radha shared possible for humans like me? What is the most important lesson we can take from your legendary friendship with Sudama? Is it possible to have a true friend beyond the class boundaries?

Once Krishna in his charming way gives me some answers I will let him go back to manage the affairs of the world and settle to talk to my favourite revolutionary of all times, the one and only India’s very own Che Guevera Bhagat Singh. His atheist beliefs are well-documented and his beardless and short hair pictures are popular even in the Sikh heartland Punjab. So I would want to ask him on behalf of a lot of my Sikh friends that how does one prioritise when an issue is important to you but it demands disobedience to your religious principles? How much of what we wear or don’t wear consists of our religious identity? This is a common conflict I see in lots of Sikh families where the youngsters want to do away with their beard and kes (hair) and the elders consider it absolutely impermissible. I would ask- How would you evaluate the direction in which this country’s youth are headed? You were just 23 when you made the choice to lay your life for your country and now most 23 years olds would be unable to even give one full day of their busy lives for India, what would you say to them? What would be on your reading list dear Bhagat, in our times and yes would you like to meet Che Guevera some day? I hope he would say yes to the last one because two great revolutionaries, they would surely churn out lots of food for thought for all of us.

Hitler would come next, because all my life I have tried to understand how hatred could drive one person to such a violent extreme. There has been much analysis of love and of individual violence, but the kind of collective violence he engineered is unparalleled in history. Well I would try not to ask him about his strange and funny moustache:-p but I would want to ask him what his regrets are, if any? Does it hurt to be one of the most hated men of all times? Today when the world sits on a nuclear pile of explosives one extremist like you could push the world to its very brutal end, would you do it differently if you had a second chance? Is a person’s family tree so important, is race so important? I would ask Mr.Fuhrer how he managed to deceive a whole nation to participate in his idea of an ideal state.

Referring to some other great conquerors, warriors and political leaders I would like to know his opinions about Gandhi’s non-violence and Martin Luther King’s struggle for civil rights and Nelson Mandela's campaign for social justice.Who do you think is remembered more and fondly you or any of them?

Chats with three men in a row I think I would definitely need some lady to chat with now, and who else but one of my favourite writer’s and feminists of all times- Virginia Woolf. Wow lady! I must compliment you for inspiring many generations of women to have A Room of One’s own !!But dear let me tell you that just like you then women still live in “potentially dangerous space” everywhere in the world. Even today it seems “women are imaginatively of the highest importance; practically completely insignificant.” I would ask her to elaborate on her notion of trickle down patriarchy. I would ask her how we can manage the struggle to recognise women’s unpaid work in today’s highly commercialised work. What made you choose to integrate your creative work into social thought? And on a lighter note I would ask her how does it feel to have her face a wide range of gift-ware and memorabilia like book marks and mugs, does it dilute some of her strong stance or just popularises it?
Next up would be someone I observe carefully every day but have reserved my views about for some time now. The intellectual-looking, possessor of the strongest vocal chords in the universe, the TV journalist-crusader.  

Yes I am talking about the same-wardrobe-all-seasons, the same-pitch and tone-all issues person who screams his lungs out because the nation wants to know. I want to ask this person how they decided to compensate for the dearth of real horror genre in India in primetime news. These mighty people must tell me the nitty-gritty of running a kangaroo court on TV screens where just like the brand of coffee endorsing their channel there is instant justice and punishment.
I want to ask them are their panelists (who either silently nod their heads in disagreement or frustration from their tiny window on the screen or ONLY agree with the huffing and puffing journalist of courage) paid or their silence is golden.
I want to ask them, who decide what “breaking news” is. Is it called so because most of the times I feel like breaking my TV or my head when I hear them shout BREAKING! In the race of becoming “your channel got this first” how did you come to presume that the nation really wants to know only your opinion on everything?

I would also love to chat with someone I call a Facebook fanatic. I want to ask her does she think that the earth now rotates on the frequency of her status updates. Why does she think that the world would end if she does not display the picture of her lunch and dinner plates? I would tell her that using infinite smiley faces and cuss words in her updates and comments is so juvenile, has she ever tried using her mind instead? I would definitely like to ask her home remedies for a sore thumb caused by constant typing. Does she know that there is a whole world outside the Facebook home page and friends’ photo albums? I would want to ask her what is her tip for time management, how much time can one waste to take bathroom breaks in the middle of day and night chats? The number of friends on your list is just that A NUMBER or do you think that number is directly proportional to your well-being and “influence”? I would also like some light to be thrown by her esteemed FB self on how many starving children she thinks she has fed by a click? My parting message to her would be- “Darling, facebook likes are the wrong scale to measure self-worth or any one else's worth, remember the last time you looked at the sunset or walked in the park(without peeping into your Smartphone every two minutes),so sign out of  FB and log into real life !”

Once I am done with my vicious outpour I would like to sit down for some soothing chat with two of my all-time favourite writers- Ruskin Bond – the bard from the Mussorie hills and Paulo the Alchemist Coelho. I am sure both these soft-spoken gentlemen would be kind to answer my questions about how to maintain calmness in chaos? How to find the answers and how to choose the right word to express what you have found?

I wish I had enough energy to chat with IPL team owners and fans, cyber stalkers, public property destroyers, the US President and my great grandmother, but I’ll not be greedy and as the cliché goes last but not the least I would like to chat with my favourite costumed crime fighter- Spiderman. I am sure he can tell me why we need to believe in superheroes? I would want to ask him about how can a commoner like me save the world even if I manage to save only a small bit.

And then following his dictum- “with great power there comes great responsibility”, I will not misuse my WECHAT power and call it a day pondering on the lessons I take home from all these eye-opening sessions.

DISADVANTAGES OF BEING AAMIR KHAN AND TALKING ABOUT GIRLS

Marshall McLuhan said -the medium is the message and when the medium is as larger than life as a Bollywood  star in India the message does create a huge roar of support and criticism alike.Yes there is no denying the fact that we live in a commercial capitalist setup where even sympathy is driven by the money it can eventually make.But isn't that true for every click we do on our cell phones and every packet of wafers we buy. We the people are now fodder for the number of likes on Facebook or the figures of shares on Youtube.
In television lingo we are the foot soldiers for the battle for the eyeballs and the so called TRPs which decide the fate of TV programs, the number of plastic surgeries by Mihir Virani"s and the generation leaps with no change in age or appearance,the oh so important breaking news about politicians with their pants down or the kilos of weight put on by a celebrity bahu..
We gulp it all ,and so when the much-hyped ,create-demand-manipulate-supply superstar promises a cry from his heart for his country backed by a huge TV network ,the largest mobile network and his own mammoth production house ,we anticipate a big show(down).
A few years ago DCP Ajay Singh Rathore played by Aamir in SARFAROSH says - yeh mere ghar ka mamla nahin hai ,yeh mere desh ka mamla hai.A few years later he is the art teacher taking up the cause of  a dyslexic child in TARE ZAMEEN PAR, and then as the genuine genius he makes us review our education system in 3 IDIOTS.What did we do? We, you and me thronged the theaters ,but now the issues have come knocking into our drawing rooms , a bit too close for comfort ,so are we afraid of miniature revolutions brewing in kitchens,or are we scared that the oppressed might also get a peek on Doordarshan  and begin asking uncomfortable questions.
Oh aren't we the evolved audiences of the dirty picture fame, you see we now are alright with open displays of emotion so if we can be open about sexual issues I do not see why we can't wash this piece of very dirty laundry in public too.It may not bring any change but it is stirring the stagnancy a little if not much.
OK lets assume the stories are exaggerated,the audience reactions are paid,the social zeal of a film star is a farce but contrary to what a lot of critics have argued THE ISSUE IS NOT A NON-ISSUE.The graphics are glossy but the figures are real ,the girls not allowed to be born are real and I can vouch for that.The unsolicited pity given to parents of only girls is a fact we can't deny.The partners in crime- wives and mothers who have chosen to remain quiet still outnumber the few who were brave enough to save their girls at the cost of their marriages and the so-called false honour.Can't we see that the mothers on the show who chose to save their girls paid a price as if it was a crime to stand up for their child who was not of the right gender,if I may say so.
I am very skeptical about armchair activism too,but if there is an initiative for awareness via advertising why not,don't we devote as much time if not more to advertising about fairness creams,soaps,lotions, colas and
double meaning film songs.
Aamir Khan is India's new OPRAH, yes he is because like her his show is about 'rapport talk ' but only for 90 minutes per week where again you and me have a remote we can use,what about the rest of the week- the dubbed dumb cartoon shows we feed our children,the overdressed repressed soaps now graduated to talking about extra-marital woes,childless couples,homosexuality in a cliched shh shh fashion,the unasked for soft pornography on music channels,why not say something about them too, or did I forget that it is fashionable to criticize a celebrity and look for my own 15 minutes of fame.Aren't we the culture who make celebrities so huge only to enjoy tearing them down later?
This boring show about a film star's political ambitions and a TV network's marketing ambitions as many say must die its own death if it is not worth it like the citizen activism that we were so gaga about a few months ago.
But I want to give it a chance a fair chance at least, and may this" social pornography" as critics call it rub shoulders with the wide variety of other pornographies on sale  and emerge only if it is worth it.
He might have messed it up big time,only time will tell, but are we not becoming a nation of status quoists?Or is being a celebrity and not talking about only award shows and IPL teams a crime too?
We question all new initiatives,and we must by all means, but in a country which spend mind boggling money on a silly T20 tournament every year and crores on movies and TV soaps that are soulless lets give this informed discussion a chance even though it is backed by the same dirty money.
Cynicism about the system has led us nowhere, lets give optimism a chance.don't SMS if you don't want to be part of the commercial aspect of this program but don't participate in whatever small way you may be in preventing girls from coming into this world.