Friday, December 31, 2010


,dadHAPPY 2011 !
I would want to believe that most of us would come to the internet  today for just a short while to wish our dear ones who are away,so coming straight to the point.
  • It is a sublime sense of pride to see my best friend and better half doing so well professionally and yet finding time to be a hands-on dad.
  • It is strange that me who has hated cooking all my life has started relishing the joys of a perfect fluffy omelette and the sadness of a crumpled cake.
  • It is new that the city beautiful which was big bad world for a small town girl once now just appears to be too small for my intellectual,social and spiritual aspirations.
  • It is an uncomparable joy to see my toddler eat my broken omelettes and altered recipes as if I am the greatest chef that ever walked the face of the earth.
  • It is the most awesome sense of being grown-up when my dad puts his hand on my shoulder and I know he trusts me with a lot of family responsibilities.
  • It makes me swell with pride when my awesome-cook mom praises my soup and gives it 9.5/10.
  • It is humbling and baffling as some people whom I knew as friends are strangers and some strangers who remember a good deed done long ago want to reconnect.
  • It is a raging debate in my mind how much of me is facebooked and how much blogaddicted.

           So 2011 here I come with all this and more,hope you take favourably to me,my friends and family.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

The contest I feels like the perfect end to a happening year !

Friday, December 24, 2010

Yuletide tidings

It is that time of the year again,when all everyone does is wish,enjoy,evaluate and speculate.All the inboxes,walls and tweets are flooded with greetings and wishes.The whole world appears to be shopping,eating and merry making. Its Christmas tomorrow and a new year is at the threshold 1-1-11 ,as a friend pointed out.Long back when I was in college a teacher had pointed out much to my displeasure then that all my writings became highly sceptical ,specially around happy occassions.
Luckily for me The scepticism doesn't crop from a bad or deprived childhood,or a traumatic adult life.I now admit It is there but only due to my way of looking at not to so obvious things around us.As my two year old plays with her stack of toys I see a 10-11 year old in a house across whitewashing the walls for the christmas party,and then of course there is Anita(you would know her if you are a regular here),children you and me witness everyday working at homes,farms and shops.
Girls we see everyday being discriminated against.Women we see being mistreated in homes and workplaces.
I am trying to be cheerful this yuletide and push all these images behind a thick gaze of  devil may care.
Be it Diwali,Christmas,New Year or any celebration I am sorry to have a tinge of grey in my heart and mind about things that must but don't change,things to change which my little solitary effort is but too little.
A friend made a spelling error in his Facebook Post saying "marry christmas",but gave me the idea to request all my blog friends to marry this merry christmas with some good deed and charity for those who need it.Those of you who can help financially do so,but more importantly share some time,attentiona and mental space.Make your Christmas merry and the new year meaningful as you rub on joy and happiness.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


You taught me that
even when our eyes are closed
our minds should be open.

You taught me that
ever day is an opportunity
to live afresh and learn with zeal.

You taught me to find
joy in the little things,
to smile at the shining wrapper
even when the chocolate is finished.

You taught me new colour schemes
the need to see things the other way.

You taught me to react
just to the moment
and have no prejudice or baggage.

You ,my daughter,my teacher
who loves to play my mamma
you have taught me life all over.

Thanks for being such an inspiration.
You are my hero.


Monday, December 13, 2010

At 65

The stairs are too steep for my arthritic knees.Not that I need to come to a beauty parlour so often at my age,but this fortnightly outing is my connect with the neighbourhood and the outside world.
Meera,the owner of this parlour is an old acquaintance,she came here as a coy bride 20 years ago and now is mom to a teenager,so nowadays she catches up more with other teenager's moms to know the latest.I try to remember how I dealt with my boys and girls when they were teenagers,I only remember training my girls in household chores and cooking and cleaning for my boys.Maybe things have really changed faster than I can ever comprehend.
I guess I'll have to wait today,meera is attending to this young girl who has just shifted in the house across.look what she is wearing ,jeans and t-shirt,no ornaments,no sindoor....these aaj kaal ki ladkiyaan !
She has a kid too...but am I not being too judgemental.Maybe she is a good wife and mom even if she dreeses unconventionally.
a phone is ringing,can't be mine....I have a gyatri mantra ringtone.
It's meera's....
so more delay..
I'm restless today because grandson won't sit still for long.can't blame him ,he is only four.I had no choice than to bring him along as his mom has a longer day at work today.Why does she has to work when my son earns so well?
Meera says I don't need this massage so often,but she doesn't know this is my only excuse to come out and chat,observe and catch up,otherwise I am now more of a chowkidar in my own house.
Why do these new age husbands pamper their wives so much?
This one is getting the most expensive facial done and only last time she was getting an exotic pedicure.I don't even remember my husband ever fussing over how i looked.He would rather have a meal well cooked and all his orders obeyed.
Wish I could continue my education , Then I could have easily read all these glossy english magzines.
Wish I could ....

Sunday, December 5, 2010


The noise is profound
how long will this hammering go on?

Is this self-nagging?
my mind constantly is in debate.

Is it plain foolish
to mull over decisions once made
the loss of the irretrievable.

The identity is the image
or the belief ,the visage.

Who am I?
The name on the papers?
The mother,daughter,wife ,friend,woman....
The e-mail id or the net profile?

The experiences and the memories
The thought-process and
the belief system

The physical body or
the beats and the pulse...


Wednesday, December 1, 2010


 I am yet to decide what is peculiar about her,the way she recites the english alphabet or the way she lovingly wipes the plants.She is 11 or maybe 12,is not sure,accompanies her mother every morning who works as a household help.
Often breaks into a quick jig with my toddler,and interestingly bends to scan the colourful newspaper supplements.The question today was sudden and left me blank,"didiji aapke paas itni kitaben kyo hai ?"
I gained composure and said "mujhe padhna acha lagta hai"
To which she said "mujhe bhi".

I asked her then,'why does you mom insist that you help her in her job?'
She replied like a seasoned cynical grandmother,"main kaam karti hoon tabhi mujhe sham ke school main padhne milta hai."

I couldn't say more and was left to delve deep inside.
I am guilty because despite the exploitation the child goes through i told myself she is lucky atleast they are sending her to school.
The next moment I hated myself for being part of a system where millions of children like her suffer quietly.Children whose every wish is pre-loaded with a dear price they pay.
Another day she told me that if she doesn't earn for the family in some way they will marry her off to anyone for a little financial help.
How easy it is then to talk about women empowerment in cosy living rooms or elite seminars and how difficult it is to really buy it for yourself?
Some of my learned friends once suggessted on something similar that its better to have children working rather than begging or prostituting.

So this is my salute to Anita ,and million daughters like her,who don't give up.who find a by-pass to our society's hypocrisy,who teach us to be thankful for the boons in our lives and inspire us to not to be blind to the naked truths.

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To Kill a Mockingbird
The Catcher in the Rye
Animal Farm
The Alchemist
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Romeo and Juliet
The Odyssey
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
The Count of Monte Cristo
Eat, Pray, Love
The Da Vinci Code
The Kite Runner
The Silence of the Lambs
The Diary of a Young Girl
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre
The Notebook
Gone With the Wind

The Human Bean Cafe, Ontario

The Human Bean Cafe, Ontario
my work on display there !!!!!