The Call of the Wind

She listened

to her heart

and threw

all chains

cages

locks

to the

call of the wind !

Suns and Lovers

Fathers, husbands

brothers ,cousins

uncles, granddads

sons or grandson

Men are a part of 

every story

of women

'Suns and lovers'

Moons and friends

and yet there is

that clenched fist

any of them

could be a misogynist !

This post is part of a #blogathon here at BAR.

Lord of the Flies

Image: Google images

Rapes, abuse and deaths

suicides and silences

battered breaths

only numbers

mere statistics

Women - 

nothing to the

Lord of the flies

amidst a thousand

patriarchies !

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR

Anatomy of Abuse #ALetterToHer

The vase he threw

was not to express

his anger or frustration

my dear girl, it was

- Intimidation

the hollow apology

was not to undo the harm

but dear naive girl, it was

- Manipulation

the counting of 

your "inadequacies" 

was not to improve you

but - Humiliation

the keeping you away

the don't go anywhere, stay

was not to protect you

it was subtle Isolation

the threats of harm

to self and/you

to frighten and terrorize,

the loud voice and 

sometimes the silence

the gaze, the body language

to coerce and threaten

Dear blinded in love

remove the tinted glasses

and see it as it were

a cycle of abuse

the silence before 
the eye of the storm
and the honeymoon

over and over
in a vicious gyre
Dear girl
Inhale strength

Spit fire.

Must read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You because the conspiracy of silence around domestic abuse labeling it as a personal matter,must be broken, because one story is many stories.

War and Pieces

Image : Google Images

The victor's loot

and the vanquished's shame

the woman in every war

without a name

the destroyed homes

as the shadows of 

kids' tombstones increases

the collateral damages

the unsaid tale of moms

daughters and wives

in war and pieces !

Of Ice and Men

Image:Google Images

He rubbed her wrong

and you looked away

She body shamed her

and not a word to say

 the sexist jokes

and the street harassment

the discrimination

fear and embarrassment

you remained aloof

and closed your eyes

patriarchal men

as cold as ice.

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR.

Life of Pie

Image : Google Images

If there was ever a pie chart

of things people say to women

that cause grievous hurt

What all do you think 

would figure in there?

Do you think

that they even care?

How sexual violence

uses victim blaming as a tool?

How something as sweet as pie

can turn into a weapon cruel?

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR

The Fault is in Our Stares

Image : Google Images

Is a man defined 

by the length of his pants?

then why the moral police

complains and rants

about the length of her skirt

or the neckline of her shirt?

No one asks for violence

wearing what she wants

isn't a dare

there's nothing wrong

in what girls wear

the fault is

in our stares !

#ALetterToHer from Agony Auntie

Dear Woman,

Hi! Don’t be annoyed about me not using your name. Your name doesn’t matter, nor do your circumstances or identity. You could be an urban, educated, liberal, independent modern girl, or a not so educated, conservative, traditional rural girl.

He could be your husband, lover, boyfriend, live-in partner, but none of these permutations and combinations alter the anatomy of your emotionally abusive relationship.

Remember the first time he cracked a misogynist joke in your presence and you smiled or maybe even laughed along, after all he was your man, you were expected to stand by whatever he said, believed or laughed at.

Remember the first lump in your throat he caused. It could be about something as trivial as your bra-strap showing or the tea not being just right. You sobbed in the washroom or wept aloud after he was gone and then turned into self-censor for your dresses and recipes (well done). 

He loved you, you told yourself over and over again, he meant well, of course good women like you never annoy their men.

Remember how suddenly you the woman of his dreams became someone else- selfish, conniving, clumsy. How every conversation was suddenly flooded with accusations or threats? “If you love me…became the string, and you the puppet.Obviously you are nurturer by birth, aren't you?

Remember how you surrendered slowly to criticism, prying and his overbearing presence in your life. But love is supposed to overwhelm, isn’t it, you must believe.

He was asking for your undivided time and attention. You were his woman and that was such a privilege. Remember when a few times you did meekly voice your discomfort, and he said you were just overreacting. Of course you were too sensitive and sentimental like most women are, or maybe it was ‘that time of the month’; definitely your emotions had become faulty and so inconsequential. You were making a mountain out of a mole-hill; women must have the patience and tolerance like Mother Earth.

Remember the flowers followed by the apologies? He was just following the blue-print of a perfect romance. You must have surely provoked him, otherwise he was a good man, the man you so loved. He never hit you, only said a few rude words now and then, or just denied conversations and sex.

Remember how your priorities changed? But then that is what women are supposed to do, right? He should always come first, even before you for you; you did learn a new way of love, erasing yourself.

You liked what he liked, disliked what he disliked and yet you couldn’t make him happy. Didn’t anyone tell you, boys will be boys? Why couldn’t you just let him be and continue loving him unconditionally?

Dear Woman, women must not have too much self-respect dear, or it becomes ego, there is one valid ego in this world the male one.

Now though I and any sane woman would advise you against it, here I give you an excerpt from my personal feminist manifesto, but follow it at your own risk, your love is at the stake.

·   Learn more about intimate partner violence. (You know it is fashionable to talk about cycle of violence.)

·  If you suspect that another woman around you is being abused, show concern, listen, show her my letter. (But how can one powerless woman help another?)

·  Speak in hushed tones about the abuse and the abusers but never ever interfere, it is their ‘personal matter’. Also why bother when he can most probably get away with it.

·  Show your support but not at the risk your own abusive relationship.

·  Last resort- Call the police. (But beware that involves a lot of shamelessness.)

Last but not the least stay safe and never wash dirty linen in public.

Remain a good Indian girl always like your mother and her mother before her (Watch Mother India once a week) and be a role model for your sisters and daughters.

We must all get married and stay married, at any cost.

Yours truly

Pseudo-feminist agony auntie

Image : Google Images

(Disclaimer: The author recognizes EMOTIONAL ABUSE as a serious act of violence in intimate relationships. The views/opinions expressed are in a sarcastic vein and are meant to highlight the ironical perceptions about abuse in the society we live.If this letter makes your angry, it has succeeded in its purpose.)

Must read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit Youhttp://bit.ly/Meenabk2 because the conspiracy of silence around domestic abuse labeling it as a personal matter,must be broken, because one story is many stories.

The woman who used to be #ALetterToHer

The first push 

was accidental

she presumed

the wife jokes

becoming nastier

the controlling

the belittling

was just foul mood

gradually the definitions 

were altered

silence was the price

for peace

love was a noose

a prison 

with no release

"his good heart

was never filled

with malicious intent"

she chanted

the constant

walking on egg shells

and shards of self

the bruises

the best makeup

could not conceal

the flowers and

chocolates

the vacations and gifts

just masks

the nice man

she provoked

the marriage 

she couldn't sustain

the numbness

the scars

somewhere inside

she could not see

and the woman

she became

from the 

woman she 

used to be.

Meena Kandasamy's When I Hit You is a chronicle of an abusive marriage and a celebration of the invincible power of art. It must be read because it breaks the silence surrounding the violence in a traditional wedlock in modern India.