The first push
was accidental
she presumed
the wife jokes
becoming nastier
the controlling
the belittling
was just foul mood
gradually the definitions
were altered
silence was the price
for peace
love was a noose
a prison
with no release
"his good heart
was never filled
with malicious intent"
she chanted
the constant
walking on egg shells
and shards of self
the bruises
the best makeup
could not conceal
the flowers and
chocolates
the vacations and gifts
just masks
the nice man
she provoked
the marriage
she couldn't sustain
the numbness
the scars
somewhere inside
she could not see
and the woman
she became
from the
woman she
used to be.
Meena Kandasamy's When I Hit You is a chronicle of an abusive marriage and a celebration of the invincible power of art. It must be read because it breaks the silence surrounding the violence in a traditional wedlock in modern India.
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