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Friday, June 30, 2017

The Call of the Wind



She listened
to her heart
and threw
all chains
cages
locks
to the
call of the wind !

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Suns and Lovers




Fathers, husbands
brothers ,cousins
uncles, granddads
sons or grandson

Men are a part of 
every story
of women

'Suns and lovers'
Moons and friends

and yet there is
that clenched fist
any of them
could be a misogynist !

This post is part of a #blogathon here at BAR.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Lord of the Flies



Image: Google images

Rapes, abuse and deaths
suicides and silences
battered breaths

only numbers
mere statistics
Women - 
nothing to the
Lord of the flies

amidst a thousand
patriarchies !

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Anatomy of Abuse #ALetterToHer





The vase he threw
was not to express
his anger or frustration
my dear girl, it was
- Intimidation


the hollow apology
was not to undo the harm
but dear naive girl, it was
- Manipulation

the counting of 
your "inadequacies" 
was not to improve you
but - Humiliation

the keeping you away
the don't go anywhere, stay
was not to protect you
it was subtle Isolation

the threats of harm
to self and/you
to frighten and terrorize,

the loud voice and 
sometimes the silence
the gaze, the body language
to coerce and threaten

Dear blinded in love
remove the tinted glasses
and see it as it were
a cycle of abuse

the silence before 
the eye of the storm
and the honeymoon

over and over
in a vicious gyre
Dear girl
Inhale strength
Spit fire.


Must read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit You because the conspiracy of silence around domestic abuse labeling it as a personal matter,must be broken, because one story is many stories.

Friday, June 23, 2017

War and Pieces

Image : Google Images


The victor's loot
and the vanquished's shame
the woman in every war
without a name

the destroyed homes
as the shadows of 
kids' tombstones increases

the collateral damages
the unsaid tale of moms
daughters and wives
in war and pieces !


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Of Ice and Men




Image:Google Images




He rubbed her wrong
and you looked away
She body shamed her
and not a word to say

 the sexist jokes
and the street harassment
the discrimination
fear and embarrassment

you remained aloof
and closed your eyes
patriarchal men
as cold as ice.

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Life of Pie





Image : Google Images



If there was ever a pie chart
of things people say to women
that cause grievous hurt

What all do you think 
would figure in there?
Do you think
that they even care?

How sexual violence
uses victim blaming as a tool?
How something as sweet as pie
can turn into a weapon cruel?

This post is part of a #blogathon at BAR

Saturday, June 17, 2017

The Fault is in Our Stares



Image : Google Images

Is a man defined 
by the length of his pants?
then why the moral police
complains and rants
about the length of her skirt
or the neckline of her shirt?

No one asks for violence
wearing what she wants
isn't a dare

there's nothing wrong
in what girls wear
the fault is
in our stares !


Thursday, June 15, 2017

#ALetterToHer from Agony Auntie

Dear Woman,

Hi! Don’t be annoyed about me not using your name. Your name doesn’t matter, nor do your circumstances or identity. You could be an urban, educated, liberal, independent modern girl, or a not so educated, conservative, traditional rural girl.

He could be your husband, lover, boyfriend, live-in partner, but none of these permutations and combinations alter the anatomy of your emotionally abusive relationship.

Remember the first time he cracked a misogynist joke in your presence and you smiled or maybe even laughed along, after all he was your man, you were expected to stand by whatever he said, believed or laughed at.

Remember the first lump in your throat he caused. It could be about something as trivial as your bra-strap showing or the tea not being just right. You sobbed in the washroom or wept aloud after he was gone and then turned into self-censor for your dresses and recipes (well done)

He loved you, you told yourself over and over again, he meant well, of course good women like you never annoy their men.

Remember how suddenly you the woman of his dreams became someone else- selfish, conniving, clumsy. How every conversation was suddenly flooded with accusations or threats? “If you love me…became the string, and you the puppet.Obviously you are nurturer by birth, aren't you?

Remember how you surrendered slowly to criticism, prying and his overbearing presence in your life. But love is supposed to overwhelm, isn’t it, you must believe.

He was asking for your undivided time and attention. You were his woman and that was such a privilege. Remember when a few times you did meekly voice your discomfort, and he said you were just overreacting. Of course you were too sensitive and sentimental like most women are, or maybe it was ‘that time of the month’; definitely your emotions had become faulty and so inconsequential. You were making a mountain out of a mole-hill; women must have the patience and tolerance like Mother Earth.

Remember the flowers followed by the apologies? He was just following the blue-print of a perfect romance. You must have surely provoked him, otherwise he was a good man, the man you so loved. He never hit you, only said a few rude words now and then, or just denied conversations and sex.

Remember how your priorities changed? But then that is what women are supposed to do, right? He should always come first, even before you for you; you did learn a new way of love, erasing yourself.

You liked what he liked, disliked what he disliked and yet you couldn’t make him happy. Didn’t anyone tell you, boys will be boys? Why couldn’t you just let him be and continue loving him unconditionally?

Dear Woman, women must not have too much self-respect dear, or it becomes ego, there is one valid ego in this world the male one.

Now though I and any sane woman would advise you against it, here I give you an excerpt from my personal feminist manifesto, but follow it at your own risk, your love is at the stake.

·   Learn more about intimate partner violence. (You know it is fashionable to talk about cycle of violence.)

·  If you suspect that another woman around you is being abused, show concern, listen, show her my letter. (But how can one powerless woman help another?)

·  Speak in hushed tones about the abuse and the abusers but never ever interfere, it is their ‘personal matter’. Also why bother when he can most probably get away with it.

·  Show your support but not at the risk your own abusive relationship.

·  Last resort- Call the police. (But beware that involves a lot of shamelessness.)

Last but not the least stay safe and never wash dirty linen in public.

Remain a good Indian girl always like your mother and her mother before her (Watch Mother India once a week) and be a role model for your sisters and daughters.

We must all get married and stay married, at any cost.

Yours truly
Pseudo-feminist agony auntie

Image : Google Images



(Disclaimer: The author recognizes EMOTIONAL ABUSE as a serious act of violence in intimate relationships. The views/opinions expressed are in a sarcastic vein and are meant to highlight the ironical perceptions about abuse in the society we live.If this letter makes your angry, it has succeeded in its purpose.)

Must read a copy of Meena Kandasamy’s new book, When I Hit Youhttp://bit.ly/Meenabk2 because the conspiracy of silence around domestic abuse labeling it as a personal matter,must be broken, because one story is many stories.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

The woman who used to be #ALetterToHer






The first push 
was accidental
she presumed

the wife jokes
becoming nastier
the controlling
the belittling
was just foul mood

gradually the definitions 
were altered
silence was the price
for peace
love was a noose
a prison 
with no release

"his good heart
was never filled
with malicious intent"
she chanted

the constant
walking on egg shells
and shards of self
the bruises
the best makeup
could not conceal

the flowers and
chocolates
the vacations and gifts
just masks

the nice man
she provoked
the marriage 
she couldn't sustain

the numbness
the scars
somewhere inside
she could not see

and the woman
she became
from the 
woman she 
used to be.

Meena Kandasamy's When I Hit You is a chronicle of an abusive marriage and a celebration of the invincible power of art. It must be read because it breaks the silence surrounding the violence in a traditional wedlock in modern India.



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COMPANIONS CALLED BOOKS

To Kill a Mockingbird
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Animal Farm
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One Hundred Years of Solitude
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Frankenstein
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}

The Human Bean Cafe, Ontario

The Human Bean Cafe, Ontario
my work on display there !!!!!