L - Learning Disorders #AtoZ #MentalHealthAwareness

Learning disabilities have nothing to do with how smart a person is. Rather, a person with a learning disability may just see, hear, or understand things differently.

Learning disabilities are neurologically-based processing problems. These processing problems can interfere with learning basic skills such as reading, writing and/or math.  

They can also interfere with higher level skills such as organization, time planning, abstract reasoning, long or short term memory and attention.  It is important to realize that learning disabilities can affect an individual’s life beyond academics and can impact relationships with family, friends and in the workplace.

Learning disabilities can be lifelong conditions that can affect one's experience at school or work or in social situations. Multiple learning disabilities overlap in some people.

While the causes of learning disabilities are not fully understood, a number of risk factors have been identified.

Some children with learning disabilities have difficulty following social conventions (e.g. taking turns, standing too close to the listener, not understanding jokes); these difficulties are often components of mild autism spectrum disorders as well.

Short attention span, motor restlessness, fine motor problems (e.g. poor printing and copying), and variability in performance and behavior over time are other early signs.

Difficulties with impulse control, non–goal-directed behavior and over-activity, discipline problems, aggressiveness, withdrawal and avoidance behavior, excessive shyness, and excessive fear may occur.

Specific learning disorder seems to run in families. Individuals are more likely to have such a disorder if a first-degree relative such as a parent or sibling has one. Other factors that may increase one's risk for a learning disability include premature birth, very low birth weight, the use of nicotine, alcohol, or drugs during pregnancy, and severe deficits in nutrition or exposure to lead in infancy.

Some specific categories of learning disabilities include:

• ·         Dyslexia, which causes difficulties with word recognition, spelling, and comprehension
• ·         Dysgraphia, which results in impaired handwriting, impaired spelling, or both
• ·         Dyscalculia, which affects the ability to learn arithmetic and mathematics
• ·         Nonverbal Learning Disorder, marked by trouble receiving and interpreting nonverbal forms of communication such as body language and facial expressions
• ·         Apraxia of speech, which involves difficulty saying what one intends to say
• ·         Central Auditory Processing Disorder, which involves difficulty with recognizing and interpreting sounds
•  

Parents can help children with learning disabilities achieve such success by encouraging their strengths, knowing their weaknesses, understanding the educational system, working with professionals and learning about strategies for dealing with specific difficulties. 

While every kid has trouble with academics from time to time, if a certain area of learning is consistently problematic, it might indicate a learning disorder. By understanding about learning disabilities, a parent can ensure that the child gets the right help to overcome classroom challenges and succeeds in life.

DISCLAIMER: All the information being provided her has been sourced from the internet and books and some also via personal experiences. It has no medical authentication per se so suggestions if followed must be done in consultation with a trained mental health professional.

References:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/learning-disability

http://www.ldonline.org/ldbasics/whatisld

This post is a part of April Blogging from A To Z Challenge

You can find all my posts here.

K - Kids & Mental Health #AtoZ #MentalHealthAwareness

According to the surgeon general, approximately one out of every five children has a diagnosable mental illness. Children can develop the same mental health conditions as adults, but their symptoms may be different.

Children, however, are developing mentally and physically, and their behavior may be difficult to analyze. Actions such as anxiety, anger, and shyness can be a part of developmental growth or a temporary condition rather than an illness. When troubling behaviors occur over a period of time or in a way that disrupts daily life, they are considered symptoms of a disorder.

Studies have shown that these children, if left untreated by a mental health professional, will likely to grow up and repeat these same behaviors with their children.

Children need to have a good mental health status if they are going to live up to their full potential and truly live a life that is filled with positive experiences and the willingness to do what is best for themselves and the people around them. Children with mental health issues will have a difficult time acclimating to different situations.

Some children have to deal with a childhood that is filled with angst, resentment, hatred, distrust, and constant negativity. They have a difficult time coping with their emotions. Many children just naturally feel depressed or have anxiety issues. When these issues are not dealt with in the proper fashion, the children tend to have lower self-esteem and they struggle in the educational environment.

Initial diagnosis is based on reports of behavior from parents, caregivers, and teachers in order to understand how the child functions in different situations. The following disorders are common in childhood:

•         Anxiety

•         Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

•         Eating problems

•         Bathroom issues

•         Feelings of sadness, or moodiness

•         Disruptive behaviour

•         Learning disorders, such as dyslexia

•         Involuntary movements , or tics

•         Schizophrenia, or distorted thoughts and feelings

Some disorders begin in childhood and continue into adolescence and adulthood. Others go away or improve with age, and some begin later in life. Alarmingly, however, 70% of children and young people who experience a mental health problem have not had appropriate interventions at a sufficiently early age.

If they have a warm, open relationship with their parents/caregivers, children will usually feel able to tell them if they are troubled. One of the most important ways parents can help is to listen to them and take their feelings seriously. They may want a hug, they may want you to help them change something or they may want practical help. 

Some tips for parents:

• •         Be aware of your child’s media use - TV, movies, Internet, gaming devices and online games.
• •         Provide time for physical activity, play, and family activities.
• •         Be a role model by taking care of your own mental health: Talk about your feelings. Make time for things you enjoy.
• •         Associate no shame or fear with mental illness.

DISCLAIMER: All the information being provided her has been sourced from the internet and books and some also via personal experiences. It has no medical authentication per se so suggestions if followed must be done in consultation with a trained mental health professional.

References:

http://www.kidsmentalhealth.org/

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/a-to-z/c/children-and-young-people

This post is a part of April Blogging from A To Z Challenge

You can find all my posts here.

An Infant's grave

The cursor throbs in pain

of aborting a word

that was a dream

A writer's heart 

is a tender womb

where life hope plants a seed

and life's forceps

pull out forcibly

the last remains of 

a half-formed love

they say an infant's grave

often glows

that's the light

you see in my eyes !

Period Pride with Papa

I grew up in small town India in the 80s, and in the 90s during my teenage years PERIODS was considered one of the dirtiest words ever. There were horrendous incidents of my friends spotting their school skirts and then walking (yes walking, we lived in a hill station) with great difficulty to home covering the spot with a sweater or a blazer, the school’s small infirmary didn’t have any ready to use sanitary pads back then and most mothers and older sisters still living in their time wrap to even talk about it. At homes those four-five days meant isolation and untouchability (girls were considered impure during periods.)

I was almost 13 plus and awaiting my periods to begin still when my father (yes you read it right) my father- papa sat me down to talk to me about periods. He first asked me what I knew about my body and anatomy and the changes happening to me as a young girl. I told him my sketchy know-how garnered from biology chapters and library books and even a sanitary pad company sponsored workshop in school about periods but I also told him about my fears about periods and how most of my friends use what they called “rough cloth” and how it kept them discomforted those 4-5 days.






He talked to me in a very technical and non- evasive way about periods, asked me what I would prefer using the new belted sanitary napkins that were the norm then or we can make our own disposable ones using cotton gauze and cotton, because he didn’t want me to use “rough cloth” like the other girls.






I loved making things with my engineer dad so I said okay let’s make our own, and that’s how I was taught to made my first disposable cotton gauze sanitary napkins by my father. A few months later I also got used to sometimes using the commercial ones and then came another major hurdle- I had a major leg surgery for which one of my full legs was in plaster. Two days later I got my periods. Lying straight in a bed with a wet pad wasn’t a good feeling at all, that’s when my father in the pre-internet days did some research and found about tampons. He bought me some and not only advised me to use those but helped me change them too, I was 15.







That one parent-child moment changed my perception of body image, sexuality, menstruation and gender forever. I passed on my new-found knowledge, confidence and ease about periods to many friends though both me and my father got labelled as "strange" as a result most of the time.



Ever since I was always eloquent about menstruation awareness and related issues and now that my father is no more and I am myself a parent to a pre-teen girl I realize in that one moment my father gave me that voice and that confidence.






He never allowed anyone in the family including my religious mother to put any menstruation related restrictions on me regarding going to the temple/kitchen in the house or touching the pickle. I could tell him I am having menstrual cramps and he would make the best hot chocolate ever and give me a hot water bag to place on my tummy.








Yes I was so blessed to have such an evolved parent who moved beyond the pre-defined boundaries of "masculinity", fatherhood and motherhood and dis all he could to raise a strong, confident, feminist-humanist who is committed for life to keep using her voice and agency to pass on the favor to as many young girls as I can.

My late father with my daughter

Kadam Chhota, Change Bada!


Every change begins with a small step, whether it’s a change within your family, or the whole country!

On 11th May, is the digital premiere of India’s Hero, Padman, on ZEE5. Don’t miss this inspiring true-life story, only on ZEE5. Download the app and subscribe now. For every subscription, ZEE5 will donate Rs. 5 towards the personal hygiene needs of underprivileged women.

Candy Shop

standing outside 

life's candy shop

I count my pennies

the shiny price tags

all beyond me

peace, love, success

in their shiny jars

like nasty kids

sticking out their tongues

they silently smirk and 

say L-O-S-E-R

I can't surely afford

what I want

and would never want

what my pennies can buy

so I turn around

and throw the pennies

above my head

making a wish

that some other kid

might pick them up

and have her dream

fulfilled !

Rigor Mortis Revisited

Science says
brain shall live
ten minutes
after death

before the memory center
the last one to die
flashes a slideshow
of life gone by

so lets pick the slides

• my father's snowboots
• Shimla's cedars whistling
• little fingers dipped in paint
• a dark lonely corridor
• the smell of books
• first blood in panties
• the rush of a love letter
• first dead body
• waves and sand
• scars and bruises
• cobbled streets of Brugge
• touch of a surgical blade
• a Sufi shrine
• a little Buddha
• two small feet kicking
• Ardas in a Gurdwara
• papers and destiny
• Screens and calls
• blinking cursor

the last moment of my
Rigor Mortis love

Metaphysical musings on Republic Day

Representational photo of small tableaus on The Ridge, Shimla
Source: Google Images

 

Sitting atop an Electricity Board tableau that had the permission to drive through the generally restricted The Ridge and The Mall in Shimla, my 4-5 years  old self back in the eighties understood nothing about republic or the need to celebrate it.

 

A  small procession that began from the old Telegraph building up to the Christ Church  and the perk of a good refreshment was enough to get me excited about it.

 

That year the theme was how electricity had changed lives in remote areas and the moment the bulb hanging on my head was to be lit , I had to give excited expressions sitting there with a book.

 

All the "artists" were chosen from the residential complex of the board for ease of access.

 

Cause and effect are such a strange phenomenon, what we think is the cause might be the effect of something previous to it.

 

For decades I had completely forgotten about this  but now as I struggle to pinpoint the meaningfulness of a republic or its celebration, the memories are back.

 

My father's family paid a huge price of freedom in 1947 and lived for years with the label "refugees" from across the border. Home was always a very fluid concept for them.

 

I spent a large part of my life in the hills and in some parts of my state democracy or republic has still not changed quality of life services much.

 

The city I live in now, the glorious capital is struggling to find clean water and fresh air.  The disparity between the "haves" and the "have nots" we overlook everyday because we are all helpless in its face.

" Things are changing" is such a lame argument because I feel my 7 years old girl is still as unsafe as my grandmother was in 1947.

 

Yes I am the sceptic, I am alright with being labelled  "naysayer" for asking the cause and effect questions, for asking what use is a latest radar to me if I don't have clean air.

 

To me glorifying the soldier without his human rights is pseudo, to me the façade of a republic where all voices are not equal is a sham.

 

I was reading  Emil Cioran earlier and I so relate to - I feel completely detached from any country, any group. I am a metaphysically displaced person.

 

PS: I will do a follow up post for all the trolls labelling me "traitor" after this, if need be.

NAVRATRI SNAPSHOTS 2015



•  A 40 years old, mother of two teenagers is distributing ice-cream sticks on the road near her apartment complex to street children. Some of them pre-teen and teenage boys, soon she is being pulled and groped and loud whistles and leering and she runs back inside the gated residential complex. The misguided kids enjoy the free ice-cream, aunty goes back to her condo, runs a hot bath and all that remains of the incident are the wrappers piled on the footpath.
  When we let go of any incidents as minor incidents of street harassment, don’t we pave way for far more dire incidents?
  What makes our boys believe they are entitled to rowdy behaviour ?Is our "Charity" misguided?

•  I am watching news, my little one who is unaware of the technical gross details of sexual violence and RAPE, knows the word and knows that it is a cruel and bad thing to do to anyone. She stops colouring and after overhearing bits and pieces of a debate over the rape of two minors, she asks, "Mumma why do people hate and hurt little girls , so much? " I have no convincing answers.

• In a neighbourhood Kirtan, almost every other song or line has the word "laal" (red), traditionally the colour for married women ( Saubhagyavatis), those singing these lines loudest are widowed mothers, sisters and wives , sitting in a corner away from the deity, the inauspicious women.

• Not far from the Indian capital two little children are charred to death because they were not fortunate enough to be born upper caste, we look away and feel we have done our bit for the future kids of this country by distributing a few plates of poori-halwa.

•P : Mumma we Indians are generally brown you said , because of our genes and race and ,and climate.

Me: Yes dear.

P: Then why are all the goddesses fair, other than Kaali?

Me: ahmm....

P: and why don't they make Kaali beautiful? If a woman becomes angry does she become ugly?

I have taken some time from her to answer these difficult questions.

Dad's last goodbye !

I don't remember much
of his firm young hands
that threw me in the air
as a little girl

the stern hands with which
he taught me how to
hold a screwdriver
and open gadgets

I remember his dry,flaky
frail old hands
that held mine
to get up and sit down

the cold rough hands
in which he delicately held
my little one
every time she hugged him

the unsure hand
that waved to me
from the car's window

his last goodbye !

 

Conical Tales

A few weeks ago while our summer vacations in my hometown Shimla I witnessed a small road side shop selling plain pine cones. It was absolutely outrageous- putting a price tag on what the nature gives us freely and in abundance. These beauties are actually fruits of the pine trees found aplenty in the hills.

My relationship with them goes way back to my idyllic childhood spent in the hills and particularly to the long winter months spent at my maternal grandparents' place in Upper Shimla, known for its apples and so many natural treasures including the pines.

Image Courtesy: Google Images

Those were still pre-LPG days for the village kitchens and wood stoves were used for cooking, keeping the house warm and even heating water for hot baths. Most of the days when it used to snow,me and my cousins would cuddle in a quilt in the dimly lit kitchen near the "choolha" (stove) and listen to grandma's tales while smelling the potatoes getting roasted in the hot ash.

On clear days however keeping us occupied without many toys or books or TV like things grandma would handover a small "Kilta" (a multi-purpose conical handmade wood basket widely used in Himachal ) to each one of us and send us to collect pine cones for the evening fire.



Image courtesy : Google images

The rules of the game were simple - no climbing pine trees, no forceful pulling of cones and no snatching from each other , the third one being the most important because the one who got maximum number of cones would get a small prize from grandma, most often an extra fistful of sun-dried apricots or apples locally called "Boi".

This was such an interesting game for us because while we searched for pine cones through the apple orchards we would also discover other treasures as bonus. Sometimes an interesting looking pebble , or a rabbit in the grass, a unique leaf and the like.

As I grew up and my cousins also moved out the visits to that house became few and far between, a few years ago grandma also passed away, but I always loved pine cones. So whenever I would find one while walking in Shimla I would pick it, bring it home ,clean it and keep it as a treasure. Over the next few weeks I would slowly witness some of them to expand and take full shape, while others would just change colour.
Gradually I started painting them and turning them into colourful paperweights .

DIY Pine Cone paperweights

Now I am a mum to a six years old, who also incidentally is fascinated with pine cones. Whenever we find one out in the open during our trips to the hills, we bring it home and now my little one paints them too.

There are no wooden stoves to show her, even the handmade baskets have been replaced by ugly plastic ones but the stories and the charm of the pine cones is my gift to her , its a link for her to know how different was my childhood three decades ago than hers and how devoid of fancy toys, games and gadgets, nature gave us plenty to play and relish.

So whenever we can we take to the outdoors and that is what I wish more and more kids would do more often. The bounty of nature and how much it can give us in terms of learning and memories can never be matched with gadgets and toys.


This post is a part of Women's Web Contest #BachpanWithFlinto

Flintobox creates award-winning discovery boxes filled with fun exploratory activities and games for children in the age group of 3-7. If you wish to gift Flintobox to your child, niece/nephew, or friend’s child, use the exclusive coupon code WELCOME to avail Rs. 250/- off.

Break the Silence #MomsForABetterWorld

“Let’s raise children who wont have to recover from their childhoods.” —Pam Leo

 

As every other parent the things I want to tell my child is a never ending list. A few weeks ago for the #MomsForABetterWorld initiative I had to prioritise and re-order this list and I wasn't surprised that Awareness about Child Sexual Abuse topped my list.

 

Almost every person I have talked to about this has recalled some or the other incident of some kind of abusive behaviour they have witnessed or experienced as a child. So I am sure this is an issue even larger than we can ever imagine.

 

I have always hated the festival of Holi because I was once forcefully coloured by an inebriated neighbour, a friend hates chocolates because her uncle would make her kiss him for those, an online friend recalls how horrified she was when as a child a grown up relative exposed himself to her.

 

These are real incidents that may/may not damage the child physically but leave deep scars for the rest of their lives, we cannot even imagine the horror a childhood becomes when abuse is persistent and under the covers for years.



 

 

 

 

 

India is still largely a traditional country where issues related to sexuality are largely taboo.A large number of our children are still made to view their bodies with shame and fear. We rarely speak about bodily functions openly and our social setup does not bar unsolicited physical contact like hugging or patting on the back.

 

We have a country where toilets are still unavailable to a large number of children making them even more vulnerable and easily accessible to sexual predators.

 

A lot of parents from my generation are shy to speak about touch and pleasure to our children because we were brought up in times when even mothers or teachers would not talk about even mensuration or puberty.

 

Often parents think its too early to talk to children about it but the sooner they know the better. Also it happens to only girls is a huge myth- all children, boys and girls run a huge risk of facing abuse. 

 

The only way we can protect our children is by educating them about sexuality in an age -appropriate manner without scaring them

 

The increasing number of sexual crimes against children and the alarming trend that most often the perpetrators are people known to the child and the family makes it even more imperative that our children are aware of the risk and know what to do when.

 

Here are a few things that I often repeat with my six year old :

My Dear P,

• Our private parts need to be named and these are just like our other parts but private because we do not talk about them in public or show them in public.
• Always remember good touch and bad touch, try to know the difference between a simple/normal hug and an uncomfortable hug.
• Even when you feel the slightest physical discomfort with any person run and tell a parent /teacher immediately.
• You and me keep no secrets especially the ones that hurt.
• Say NO to physical contact whenever you are uncomfortable. Go offend the world, all I care about is your comfort and safety.
• Use your vocabulary well, use and know words and actions like cuddle, hug, kiss, hold, rub, show to indicate anything inappropriate.
• Know that whenever you report any such incident or even intuition YOUR version will always be trusted by me, I am here to listen even if at first it sounds funny or awkward.
• You can dial 1098 (CSA Helpline) and seek help for yourself or a friend whom you feel needs help.

 

A few reminders for myself and all other parents:

• If our child is a survivor of sexual abuse he/she or us have no reason to be ashamed about it.
• No tradition or family honour is greater than the childhood of a child so speak up , whatever the odds.
• Stand by your child ,only love can heal even the deepest wounds.
• We can prevent our children from being silent victims.

 

We need to be a loud and clear collective voice Against Child Sexual Abuse. Yes maybe awareness alone would not prevent all incidents of abuse but by speaking about it openly, strongly and clearly we are initiating a social avalanche that may save a lot of our children from suffering in silence.

 

This post is a part of #MomsForABetterWorld Blogger Contest at Women's Web.

Signature (in the memory of my late father)

S

 

Blogging from A to Z Challenge [April 2015]

 

 

 

 

I remember how in school

friends would pity me

because your craggy signatures

were impossible to forge

on a bad class test

 

I remember  how disappointed

you were when I first signed

for my first ever bank account

 

"no style at all !"

 

you had teased me all day long

 

 

 

Thousands of signatures later

yours and mine

I now remember only two

your last one on your cheque book

and my shaky one

in the crematorium record book

 

I hold your pen often

 

and try to feel

 

the last warmth of your fingers

 

on its cold steel

 

I sign my name

 

a hundred times for you.

 



Pay it Forward Parenting (in the memory of my late father)

 

 

Today when I am a parent myself, I feel some of my most special lessons in parenting come from my father. These were not written in some kind of a rule book or spoken aloud like quotable quotes but these came to me in actions that were louder than any words.

•  About three and a half decades ago in a quaint little town you were a diaper dad by choice. I understood parenthood as being better than the highly popularised motherhood.

• I always saw you helping mummy around the house, especially with my tasks- tiffin, getting the school dress in order, homework. My first lessons in gender-neutral parenting and partnership.

• Unlike a lot other homes, me and mummy would watch a cricket match and you would make us tea. So the first person who broke down gender stereotypes within the family for me was you.

• In teenage years, periods or sanitary napkins weren’t a taboo, I could talk to mummy or I could talk to you. It made me so much at ease with my body and my sexuality.

• Unlike a lot of parents, contrary to public opinion and even your own preference for the Sciences you supported me when I opted for Humanities right after school. There was no pressure to be someone I was not.

• You kept struggling with your own patriarchal upbringing to accept my male friends, boyfriend, my independent lifestyle choices, but you never held them against me even when some of them went horribly wrong. You allowed me my mistakes and their lessons.

• You always told me no matter what you were proud of me and that you would always love me. This realisation is such a huge part of my self-worth.

• You always believed and displayed so much of confidence in my abilities that I could push my boundaries every single time. You gave me all my strength.

Trying to raise my child with self-belief, gender-sensitivity, an independent mind and a strong voice, just like what my father did for me.


This post is an entry for father’s day contest by kreativemommy



Jottings for the Journey(in the memory fo my late father)

J

 

Blogging from A to Z Challenge [April 2015]

 

 



 

 

You taught me how to walk

and get up

every time I fall

 

You taught me

strength

and how my gender had

nothing to do with it

at all

 

You allowed me

my mistakes

and face my fears

 

you taught me to

look for life lessons

and never be shy of

memories & tears

 

and somewhere along

some day

in your mysterious way

 

you had led me on

to this realisation

 

the journey is

always the destination !

Idiosyncrasies (in the memory of my late father)

 I

 

Blogging from A to Z [April 2015]

 

Out of the thousands of things

a child knows a parent by

a prominent one

is the idiosyncrasies

 

 

the knack of storing

newspaper cuttings

older than me

 

the fountain pen

the Chelpark Dark Blue Inkpot 

and the calligraphic writing

 

the carbon sheet

for a duplicate copy

of every handwritten sheet

the radio news

thrice a day

with strong tea

 

the phone diaries

of every shape and size

 

the neatly arranged

shaving supplies

 

coins of every denomination

in small jars

by the bedside

 

only cardigans

no pullovers

only blazers

no jackets

 

ironed and folded

hankies all whites

 

 

a no stubble look

a six decades old hairstyle

 

there were no headlines

80 years old, father of a girl, died

 

but a million idiosyncrasies

that were only his

some I inherited

some died.